PHILOSOPHY OF HAPPINESS

 

 A THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL EXAMINATION BY MARTIN JANELLO

the way she cradles

this fallen baby bird

nothing but life

its life

now matters

 

 

 

will we win the day

or dream it away

romantics underestimated

 

 

 

it’s not hurt pride

that chills him so

but not being able

to love a foe

 

 

 

going away party

her whole existence

 

 

 

forlorn love born from mourning

 

 

 

abrasions and cuts

you gave me in fights

sorry to bleed all over you

 

 

 

she says i am like an explosion

but that’s only when

someone tries to contain me

 

 

 

the why of you

not caring for me

is keeping me endlessly dying

 

 

 

she got her reward

forsaking me waiting

though she never learned

how i writhed inside

 

 

 

feeling no rocks

in our stomachs

basking in love

full of light

and unbound

 

 

 

pieces of unlived life

stacked on my table

soon to be cleared

because i did not dare

 

 

 

your freedom you place

in my hands

to hold for you

your wings brush me gently

expanding my realm

 

 

 

the island i was

on nothing that time

i could have used a friend

 

 

 

dreaming some day

you’ll come my way

or there is a path

by which i will find you

meanwhile i practice

so i can sway

your gentle soul

into loving to stay

 

 

 

soused she doused insistent thoughts

how cruel it is to sell herself

 

 

 

all the interesting people i know

show interest beyond themselves

 

 

 

the rivers of tears

we cry inside

leave our lives

emotional deserts

 

 

 

i know my love

i’m not easy to read

i’m scared you’d be scared

of my inner world

 

 

 

worries and daily drudges

preoccupy her mind

she does not allow herself to shine

only with you some time

 

 

 

closed in shielding castle walls

withering from within

she asks me where i’m going

not fathoming where i’ve been

 

 

 

give me this love again

i beg

when i thought

the world would

see it and echo

 

 

 

he had her moods moving

like bodies of water

touched by the shapes of his terrain

 

 

 

malignant they found

is part of her

trying to take over

 

 

 

breaking records of living

with a broken heart

 

 

 

you mock my defenselessness

and put me down

so here’s what my

sorrowed love’s come to

i’ll be your clown until i drown

with ghostly pride

that won’t haunt you

 

 

 

all she wants

is gentle attention

without people seeing

the wounds yet to heal

 

 

 

i once thought to write her

explaining my love

then sensing more deeply

it never would right

 

 

 

waning wanting

now underground

as granular bit storms

are wearing her down

 

 

 

she wanted him always

around and within her

but he felt he needed

somewhat else sometimes

 

 

 

if you show you care

and leave wires bare

someone will come

to cherish their sparkle

 

 

 

two shy people

broaching their bliss

unfit to reign in their feelings

no experience primed them for this

 

 

 

i love the way

you brighten me

when dark alley walls close in

you say you see

the fight in me

to make compassion win

 

 

 

i will not tell her

she’s on my mind

she is much further within

 

 

 

many men vie for superpowers

he’s a chap who likes little flowers

and the sun making them come up

 

 

 

her favorite lament

there is nowhere to go

everything’s caught

in a screen and a button

 

 

 

every now

i step out of the shadows

that threaten to pull me under

 

 

 

inviting him in

her world

to love her

but not so much

it would crowd her out

 

 

 

you

through the earth

under the seas

over the skies

i sense you

 

 

 

looking deep into her eyes

she confided i trust you

so close to the mirror

her breath fogged it over

 

 

 

slick body she learned to showcase

as mantle for naked raw feelings

shell-locked like the seed of a fruit

 

 

 

she felt she might as well

live on the moon

with an internet connection

painful though

to keep seeing the earth

 

 

 

numb cringing ringing

and crawling time

set off by inner detonations

whenever she’s near but not mine

 

 

 

reaching out

is a good way

for reaching in

 

© 2013-2017 BY MARTIN JANELLO

Drawing in black ink of an open daisy flower facing the viewer. The daisy is the symbol of the Philosophy of Happiness book.

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Blue and black title plus stylized, 8-pronged white star with a blue rhombus in each tip and separate rhombi on grey background.