PHILOSOPHY OF HAPPINESS
A THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL EXAMINATION BY MARTIN JANELLO
she's taken over
my head heart and nerves
no part of me left that isn't hers
and still she begs me to take her
sensitive words
and the way you say them
bring to light
the core of my being
dancing with her
was already bliss
when she sighed
hold me closer than this
she is not easily impressed
the least by people who try
don't slouch
said her mother
if you want a man
child lessons
she aims to unlearn
if she can
i could not stand how much
you made me need you
till you said you desperately
needed me too
don't fall for me
she warned the stranger
i have no remorse
give no guarantees
i'll take that risk
despite the danger
attraction will force
us both to our knees
upset nobody will listen to her
i do
cries nobody fathoms her pain
i try
resigned nobody loves her
i might
but i am nobody to her
and love snarked at me
i'll be there in time
worry instead
about getting ready
his heart was not cold
just well preserved
for incidents yet to come
what i’ve lost or never had
saved gained or made
wished relished or regretted
you say you want to embrace it all
and that you will never leave
tired but too wound
for sleep to set in
thoughts of you racing
through my veins
he recalled her
smelling like a puppy
her scent had changed
being all grown up
i'd like to make up for the years
someone else left you in tears
by lifting you up so high
you will miss to cry
however you use your charm and wit
she will not commit
until there's enough
of you to hold on to
had you in mind
since before i met you
still you remain undefined
waiting for you
to come around
it suddenly hit me
we're going in circles
missing the point of love
the girl who would not talk to me
thought i would not talk to her
how to begin to speak to someone
with whom you imagine
the rest of your life
i need you to make peace in me
but first tease me out of my mind
her presence makes me
consciously breathe
is that so she laughed
when i told to her face
i liked other parts of her body too
brushing my arm
with the back of two fingers
she asked are you feeling this
torturing me until i would admit
my nerves were all concurrently lit
dreamed i heard an angel’s wings
batting the air with force
did she come to encourage sins
or fill me with remorse
my speaking to her
seemed like presumption
but she later said
she was hoping for that
i had a dream
long before i met you
that falling in love
i'd remember this dream
how did you know
she keeps on asking
when will she see
i can feel her heart
she says i’ve awakened
deep unknown emotions
protective naked and ferocious
in stirrings of company
lone in my world
i cannot help dreaming of you
some tell him he's naive
to hold on to the belief
that he can find
his counterpart
the kind of person
who knows him by heart
deeming herself too cold for comfort
seeking his warmth at the risk of fire
she prophesies
she’ll change my mind
i’ll hand it over
to rejoin my heart
lone castle
tower watchman
buffeted
by icy storms
holding out
for signs of love
she squinted and smiled
when i played her a lick
fueling my imagination
bolted down
by her divine lightning
while my heart was shouting
run talk to her
locked in dead night
she unearthed me
i fear her love light
will sear and blight
proving me unworthy
she calls me honey
though we’ve just met
i bet she says that
to all guys at the diner
she opens the door
in her underwear
to not keep me waiting
while she’s getting dressed
barely the nerve
to go and ask her
between elation
and total disaster
you admit to be
out of your element
here in the wild
but more than eager
becoming part of mine
each time he whispers
in her ear
that side of her body
gets goosebumps
she would be perpetually haunted
with finding a man
who would know what she wanted
she whispered in french
before she kissed me
i wish i had paid more
attention in school
the most magical love
has not yet taken aim
she momentarily forgot
the purpose of her search
oh yes her heart
it must be here somewhere
in a lock box
safe from being crushed
she never wants to stay
past midnight
that's why i call her
my little pumpkin
the way she focused
on her meals
made him suspect
her a capable lover
he only hints
at his dreams of the one
so he’ll recognize
a true soul's kinship
she wasn't ready for love
first wanted to
lose weight
clean up
tan
do hair
makeup
buy that dress
but boy was she ready for him
she stayed helping me clear the table
after a party at the stable
first thought she
wanted lessons riding horses
yet it was me
who wound up taking courses
the way you caressed
the flower i found
fills me with hope
our love will abound
his staunch resistance
was reason enough
for her to drop shame
and sunbathe buff
what would he not do
to be with her
the list of such actions
kept shortening
why is she crying
when i love her
she tells me
she is not used to this
no my love
that will not work
is this an omen
assembling their bed
he could love you
for you are lovely
but wonders
what it would do to you
reading my half-finished script
she got caught up in my story
can't stay or go
till i know your heart
she asked to leave it all to her
if she was to give herself to him
she wore a double breasted suit
on which the top buttons
looked awfully cute
finding the word horsepower racy
she dresses for our test drives lacy
molten fabric contouring her shapes
she protests it's freezing in here
why does she whisper in my ear
even when we are alone
thinking of you
though you said i shouldn't
my heart's not taking orders well
i steal your glances
not giving them back
until you ask me why
she secretly wished
he'd touch more of her skin
the windstorm obliged like a lover
her presence
makes my blood race
and she's the only cure
her absence
makes my heart ache
and she's the only cure
having made love to you all day
it struck me not having put away
the milk i bought this morning
lots of spoiled dairy is dawning
there she’s again
in this crazy dream
he cannot shake
sleeping or waking
she dropped by for apologizing
but did not find the conditions right
he's smart enough for recognizing
the entire matter’s not worth a fight
she said i feel cold
he took off his jacket
and threw it away
to feel closer to her
i'm leaving she said
it all up to you
how much you want me
in your life
she kept her girlfriends
separate from me
concerned they would enter
in competition
PINE KNOWING PAIN
PHILOSOPHICAL QUOTES & POEMS
III. LOVE ANTICIPATED
© 2013-2018 BY MARTIN JANELLO
