PHILOSOPHY OF HAPPINESS

 

 A THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL EXAMINATION BY MARTIN JANELLO

desiccant frost beyond degrees

what once was flexile

now brittly splintered

 

 

 

he never got to say goodbye

but shown her such love

it did not matter

 

 

 

nothing between them

could have this effect

some dreadful cause

made her not come back

how he wished he were

the reason instead

 

 

 

like gaudy wallpaper

or a long-broken chair

she could not stand him

to be still there

 

 

 

drawing in the breath you give me

with this last impassioned kiss

 

 

 

her first few cries

he consoled with lies

later he'd just wait

for them to go by

until she had finally

run out of tears

 

 

 

she used the vase

as a crystal hammer

how could he presume

roses undo betrayal

 

 

 

of all miserable relations

he had left

he thought

he should have left sooner

 

 

 

surrounded by him

a heavy mantle

she shed to be weightless

and dance like the air

 

 

 

your disinterest

made me go on without you

now you begrudge i relish freedom

 

 

 

salt of the sea

i taste without you

reminds me of times

i made you cry

 

 

 

sparing me the ruinous truth

that your love was fading away

you set me up

deeply falling from love

i went on believing still existed

 

 

 

listening to old italian pop

your favorite

i briefly was that summer

 

 

 

alright he said

we're good for now

that's when she knew

it had to end

 

 

 

anything returning you

i'd dedicate my life to it

had no idea

when you were with me

i would have lived in fear

 

 

 

so that’s how it feels

when hope is gone

what a strange relief

 

 

 

i'll go on loving

the picture of you

i saved from the fire

you set to my heart

 

 

 

i know what it feels like

when your heart melts to the ground

chills freeze your body’s motions

you witness yourself hurting

like a close friend unable to cry

 

 

 

selling her out for another future

was a goodbye he thought

but this unborn love life

would haunt him forever

 

 

 

looking up

at your bedroom window

made me want to change history

 

 

 

played admiration

how i took the news

eased the pain only for her

angry she could still hoodwink me

into her notion of strength

 

 

 

if she keeps insisting

that i am wrong

she’ll have to agree

that i am gone

 

 

 

i must have failed

what she expected

but will never know

i should have guessed

 

 

 

when parts of my heart

remained unbroken

you returned

to shatter the rest

 

 

 

cold light upon me

today i die

to love some other time

 

 

 

on leave

from preapproved life

he stopped by

to pay respects

to aging aspirations

 

 

 

phone call

disconnected

she needs to go

i know there will be no later

 

 

 

for you it counts more

to tell who left whom

than honoring we had love

 

 

 

dreams saw her alone

on the deck of a ship

directing it with her love

she wanted to hit

sharp rocks with it

and fly away as a dove

 

 

 

take it from me

how beautiful you are

by showing me your ugly side

 

 

 

coming to grips with your leaving

silent while our hands

are still talking to each other

not finding much solace thinking

that pictures of us

will outlast our company

a dreadful moment worse than dying

and still i wish it would not end

 

 

 

basket of pens and whimsical trinkets

so many still lifes of her existence

 

 

 

he scolded her for his feeling cold

but would not let her warm him

 

 

 

she left me jaded

encased in the concrete

of real life lost love experience

 

 

 

she wished he would go

without dulling the knife

by taking pains to ease the cut

 

 

 

it's like you have all

but forgotten me

or never embraced

the meaning of we

while i'm still here

desperately trying

 

 

 

she loved him for some differences

but only stingily humored the rest

becoming accustomed to his favors

she started viewing him as a pest

 

 

 

once confident

they were destiny

since love fell flat

rustling restlessly

conjuring ways

to return to freedom

 

 

 

it was not me who disappointed

just the vision she had of me

 

 

 

your pride made you leave

mine had me agreeing

 

 

 

tomorrow you'll go on without me

and soon will deny i was ever there

 

 

 

pleading he never meant to hurt her

meaningless like so much he had said

 

 

 

meals they ate

while she was his mate

now poisoned retroactively

 

 

 

she boxed my music and model plane

the only things i did not let her touch

and put them labeled with my name

by the curb in hammering rain

 

 

 

resenting each other

for broken dreams

convenient distraction

from their own failures

 

 

 

tomorrow

i shall let you go forever

and then wait forever

for you to come back

 

 

 

why do true lovers

turn into strangers

cutting their feet off

to walk away

 

 

 

i don't care anymore

about what you said

i should let go

is this enough to have us back

 

 

 

he asked passers-by

if they had seen her

in disbelief

she would just leave

 

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8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
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8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
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© 2013-2017 BY MARTIN JANELLO

Drawing in black ink of an open daisy flower facing the viewer. The daisy is the symbol of the Philosophy of Happiness book.

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8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
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8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.
8-pronged white star with a black or yellow rhombus in each tip.